It’s important to be careful what you ask God for; but it’s also important to trust God enough to let Him into your secret places. There are times when you are needing a saving grace and that is when it is of the utmost importance that you trust Him with everything that you are, even the ugly parts.
Yep, the ugly parts. The parts that we keep hidden, even from ourselves. The flawed parts of our humanity that we don’t like to know exist. They are behind those doors in our psyche that we rarely open, and when they peak out or seep out into our lives we make excuses for them so we don’t have to look at the ugly parts. The truth is that we all have them, but it takes courage and strength to face them. Once you’ve faced them, you know what you’re made of, and you might not like it. It’s realizing that you have some qualities that you dislike in other people – that you may have even condemned others for acting out. I’ve had that experience, and found myself wanting.
Many of us can empathize about is gossip. The minute you repeat what another person shared with you for any reason other than an altruistic one you are, indeed, gossiping. The more you repeat it and you are not praying or helping to improve the condition of said person, you are spreading gossip. Every time it comes out of your mouth, you’re engaging in something ugly. If you think about how many times a day we actually unwittingly gossip, we can be pretty ugly at times. Go ahead, take a minute and think about how many times you have engaged in gossip. You can be truthful with yourself – I can’t see you and God already knows.
This is not an extreme example, but I am sure you have seen how gossip can be extreme, for example where bullying is concerned.
Lying is another ugly characteristic; even when it is a small lie. When I am the liar, mostly any lie I tell is a small one to me, because size is in the eye of the beholder. Now I can promise you that I have been one to lie. When I was in the midst of a really bad time emotionally, financially and spiritually I would lie, steal or cheat to provide for me and my children when I didn’t have anybody but me to depend on. t didn’t see the harm in it if it fit my cause. When I was faced with the harm it actually did cause to the people I loved, I was ashamed and upset, but it didn’t stop me from using lies to cover my mistakes and tracks. What stopped me was when I remembered my faith, determined that I wanted to pursue stewardship, and asked God to show me myself. I asked Him to be my saving grace. You have to be really careful when you do that – because you don’t ever know HOW God is going to achieve what you ask of Him. One thing for sure, He is going to reveal you. You will be naked before Him.
What God did for me is move me into a place of repentance and then reveal my wrong to the people I had wronged, so that I was not only naked before Him; I was naked before them as well. He made me face the wrong within me, so that I could see that I was operating in a sin pattern that plagued my family for generations, and I would have to cut that sin pattern off and get help to learn how to live in a different way. I would have to trust Him to provide for me every step of the way and turn from my wickedness, humble myself, and pray every single time I was afraid we wouldn’t make it. Pray for a saving grace.
God chastises those whom He loves, but He also delivers them from the snares and bondage that would entrap them. Sometimes the only way to be free of what is behind the closed doors in our hearts is for those doors to be opened wide. That’s not an easy thing to do , but nothing worth having or getting is easy. If it was, we wouldn’t know how to appreciate it once we have it. We wouldn’t be bold enough to share the experience with someone else so they would know that God is a saving grace.
I’m sharing this with you because even in the midst of the trial, I am always certain that there will be a triumph; from every test must come a testimony. This level of tribulation assures me that a new level of glory is on the horizon, yet only because His grace is sufficient and love covers a multitude of sin. Here is what you need to take away from this: man may never forgive you for having any amount of ugliness in your soul, but God always forgives you. That is what His love is about! He won’t turn His back on you because you pursued Him in a way that made you show your flaws and let Him clean up your heart and create a right Spirit in you. So even if you are in the midst of the worlds greatest heist, or in the throes of the most torrent love affair ever – call on Him, He will still extend saving grace to you.